Returning to Mayberry

Whether you were raised when The Andy Griffth Show was on tv or have seen reruns or you have heard Rascal Flatts' song "Mayberry", you can probably relate to what a Mayberry life was like.

"I miss Mayberry

Sittin' on the porch, drinkin' ice-cold cherry coke

Where everything is black and white

....

Pickin' on the six string

People pass by and you call them by their first name

Watchin' the clouds roll by

..."

-Lyrics by Arlos Smith; sung by Rascall Flatts

I long for days of simplicity. Time away from your work didn't mean rushing around doing everything society pushes us to do or be so engaged in technology that we truly don't enjoy life we are just rushing through it. A simple life is about spending quality time with people you love, cooking or baking from scratch, taking a leisurely walk and enjoying the air and beauty of nature, or working on a relaxing hobby that bring joy to your soul. Days are slow and easy; time is your friend because it isn't kept or watched as it slowly ticks by.

Life doesn't seem to be that way anymore. Our jobs and our family have access to us 24/7/365. Society wants us to have monumental size, over-the-top sparking clean houses with incredibly expensive decor or we he have to be exercising like a beast or buying a 1,001 products recommended on TikTok or another social media. All the pressure and speed that life has driven us to is causing our minds, bodies, and spirits more harm than good. During those Mayberry days, there were family dinners, quiet afternoons sitting in the garden or on the porch conversing with a spouse or playing with the kids. We were more grounded and happy...with less. Life was more gentle and peaceful. I really do miss the Mayberry era; I say that statement often.

So, as I prepared to move into 2025, I reflected on 2024 but more importantly I began to build the vision for 2025. As I ended 2024 recovering from an illness brought on by not listening to my body, or even my brain telling me to stop and take a break, I recognize it is time for me to create Mayberry for myself because life is not going to let that be created without a major change in the way I live my life. It is almost like society has taken on the Grinch's role and saying, "I must stop a Mayberry life from happening but how?" I think they have made a good attempt; however, I now realize it is up to us...each one of us to create our own Mayberry...but how?

Well, the Grinch stole Christmas, but what I'm stealing is my power back. Amanda Ellis recently posed a question during a recent YouTube posting; she asked her listeners to consider who or what has taken or who or what have we allowed to have control over our power. I have been pondering those words over the past few days as they dug into my soul. The question she posed contains the answer of how you get your own Mayberry: Take Your Power Back.

For many of us, whether you were born or raised to be a caretaker or you are a survivor of an unsafe space growing up and learned to do whatever was needed to keep the peace and appease others or for a million other reasons you are people-pleaser, who or what have you allowed to have your power? You are a survivor, and you have overcome (if not, reach out). Unless you are in a dangerous situation, nothing that saying no to or keeping your power for yourself is going to harm you. As hard as it is, if they get mad, that is a them problem. If they are offended because you choose yourself, let them; that is a them problem. You are not the problem if you don't give in, no matter what they say or how they act. Fight for you! You are absolutely worth it!

Take your power back! You are absolutely worth it!!! Believe me, the thought is scary for many of us. It is hard to step out of the roles we have played for so long; I recognize I began this at age 12, but most likely before that. However, as I lie in bed for two days unable to muster an ounce of energy, I realized how I got myself to this point and how it was affecting those around me in the moment. (1) I didn't say "no" or set a boundary. (2) I didn't choose a better situation for myself; I chose to stay and endure the situation. (3) I didn't accept that my body would eventually shut down if I didn't shut myself down, which meant feeling guilty for not being able to help others. Do you see the problem? Is is familiar to you too? I allowed others to have so much power over me, filling me with fear of disappointment and guilt that I caused physical harm to myself., but why? Did anything in the situation benefit me, my life, or my family's life? Who did it benefit? How did it ultimately affect me or others? So many questions, and all of them had answers that I loathed. All of them revealed how much power I have allowed others to have...and what was sad, it appeared that they used my power against me. What a hell of a realization.

At first, I was mad at those involved, but ultimately, I turned the finger on myself. Who is really responsible? Who chose to not step up to the plate and make the hard decisions that needed to be made? Why was I so afraid to make a new choice when I have overcome life's worst? Who the hell did I think I was letting myself get to the point of having my body completely shutdown for anyone or anything? After a stern self-talk from what felt like an extreme military sergeant, I took a moment to regroup and Rascall Flatts's chorus to their song "Stand" came to mind, which empowered me to begin taking steps on my journey to Return to Mayberry.

"Cause when push comes to shove

You taste what you're made of

You might bend till you break

'Cause it's all you can take

On your knees, you look up

Decide you've had enough

You get mad, you get strong

Wipe your hands, shake it off

Then you stand, then you stand"

-Lyrics by Danny Orton and Blair Daly; sung by Rascall Flatts

As you start this New Year, start with you, my dear friends. There is no need to make resolutions. It is about taking an honest look at yourself and asking yourself a few questions: (1) How do I want my life to feel and look? (2) Where am I giving power that needs to be redirected to myself to build the life I want, my Mayberry? (3) What steps do I need to take to take my power back and use it for myself to help me create the life and self I desire? Take some time for honest reflection. Don't get hung up on the negative. Use what you learn to begin to take those baby steps. The first few steps will be bumpy, but once you get started you will be running in no time.

If it helps, I'm right there with you. I am taking my power back. For me, I have to continue healing my physical body, so my power is listening to my body until I'm fully back. I am also using this short list of things to remember as I create my personal Mayberry. If the answer is "no" to one of the questions or if I can't find the space to put myself first, I need to find a new path. I need to make a better choice. I am using my power for me and my life. I will use the power to create the life that is happier and healthier for me.

• Life is too short not to put yourself first.

• Life is more than a job or people pleasing. Is what is being asked of you bringing you heartfelt happiness? Is what is being asked of you healthy for your mind, body AND spirit? Who or what are you doing this for?

• Every situation: Is this the best situation for me? Will I be able to maintain a healthy, balanced life? Can I be at peace in this situation? Am I respected? Am I necessary or appreciated?

  
  

The first statement is a reminder of where I need to focus my power and who that power really should be used on. Then, each question gives me the opportunity to look at how my power is being used. Making choices, especially when they are hard, requires courage and trust that if you are choosing the right path, the path that is best for you that you will be cared for as you move forward. It is scary, (and to be honest this new path is scary) but it doesn't mean I shouldn't take the right step forward to create my own version of Mayberry, and the only way I can do that is if I focus on who or what I am giving my power to and putting myself as number one on the priority list. It also doesn't mean I have to make a decision instantly; I'm a planner, so I will be sure to make a plan before stepping forward.

I am sure that I am not the only in the midst of life dilemmas and looking for a better life and path. I hope that as we begin the 2025 I have given you some food for thought, maybe a little boost, or maybe inspired you to start thinking about what is next for you For me, I have come to the realization that I want a life more like Mayberry - peaceful, happy, free, and simple. The only way I am going to get anywhere near a Mayberry life is to stand in my power and use it for my greater good and higher self. Ultimately, as I bless myself and take this stand, I can bless and serve others who are struggling and who need healing, which is my soul's purpose.

May you have a very blessed, empowered 2025!!!!